I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
