Where is the hickey?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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