dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
