we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
There's even glitter on my cock...
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