Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
