she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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