You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
