ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
