Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
