i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
