Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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