my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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