So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
