I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
