So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
