There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
jump out the window naked night went bad
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