In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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