Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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