he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
bring money and cleavage
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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