i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
