what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
