wanna go halves on a baby?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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