It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
