I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
