also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
