I want to stick my p in your. b.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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