did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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