dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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