My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
