this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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