I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
