You just made me feel so damn special
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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