ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
the raccoons are back...
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