he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
