I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
