I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
