I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize