At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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