drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize