Heybabeimwearingurpanties
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
