the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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