Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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