brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
