I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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