Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize