i think i have herpe
just one?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
