and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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