just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
