I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
