His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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