i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
