Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
