Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
