I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
