Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize