You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
