doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
