So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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