i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
