i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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