names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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