Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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