Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
